Twice the BS
by Broken Wings Can't Fly
Summary: Edward finds out about Bella's family, and a past Bella has been hiding. CHAPTERS ARE BEING REWRITTEN AGAIN! i change my penname VERY often
1. Wakey, Wakey, Sleepyhead

2111 words.

**Chapter 1: Wakey, Wakey, Sleepyhead**

BPOV

BEEP. BEEP. BEEP. BEEP. BEEP. BEEP. My throat burned as I let out an ear splitting scream. Just screamed. No words, no distinguishable sound of what might have been considered or mistaken for a word, nothing but a screeching, more high pitched than a car when a driver is trying to kill herself by burning the brakes, louder than a baby's need for food, a scream that only a red-blooded female can make when annoyed.

"Damn alarm clock! What the heck! I'd rather be woken up by a freaking bucket of ice water!" I screeched like a banshee when a second later ice cubes and freezing water drenched me. I heard booming laughter and a higher, but still completely amused, chortle coming from near my window and threw my highly annoying alarm clock to where I assumed Emmett and Jasper were. I heard the sound of glass breaking and the laughter grow louder. Finally, I pried my eyes open and glared a glare that _would_ have killed them, if they hadn't already been dead that is. Jasper immediately stopped laughing when he felt my wrath and looked at my face, rapidly smacking Emmett in the stomach to get him to shut up. Emmett glanced at me and started to take small steps towards the window. Knowing that Charlie wasn't home by the fact that I had just screamed my head off and he hadn't dashed here already, I took a deep breath and screamed the name of the one and only person who could save me now.

"ESME!" (AN: haha - you thought i was going to say Edward! nope - now back to the story)

As soon as I yelled, I made tears come out of my big beautiful brown eyes. Emmett and Jasper looked very surprised to see this, and Emmett even looked a little proud that I was using this battle tactic.

"You're proud of her?!"

"What?! It's a smart move, you have to admit - but she didn't anticipate-" here Emmett paused, proud of himself to use such a big word correctly, "-us tying Edward up!"

"You IDIOT! She didn't call Edward - she called ESME!"

Emmett's already pale face blanched, his gasp being heard by all.

I, of course still having tears roll down my face, whimpered and held my arms out to be comforted.

"Mommy." Jasper and Emmett's bodies went rigid, remembering that I had recently started calling Esme and Carlisle 'Mommy and Daddy'. They slowly turned around to face three **very** angry women - Esme, Alice, and Rosalie. Esme immediately came to comfort me, picking me up and sitting down with me in her lap on the edge of the bed, one of the few parts that wasn't completely soaked, gently stroking my hair, both of us watching Emmett and Jasper shrink away from their wives.

"No sex for a month," stated Rosalie, calm but firm.

"A MONTH! BUT...BUT..."

"**THREE MONTHS!**"

At this point, Emmett was on the ground begging - no, groveling - flat on the ground at Rosalie's feet. Rosalie walked over and joined us on the bed. Alice stepped up and gave Jasper his punishment.

"No books, no computer, no messing with people's emotions for fun. For a month." Jasper just nodded silently, accepting his punishment.

"I'm sorry Bella," apologized Jasper, hitting Emmett in the stomach again.

"I'm sorry too," added Emmett right before they left, both of them eager to get away.

"So, Alice, Rosalie-"

"Rose," she said with a smile.

"-Okay, Rose, not that I'm not happy to see you, but why are you here?"

"Well, we knew Emmett and Jasper were gone, but so was Edward, because they were all out for a quick hunt. Originally though, it had just been Edward, but Emmett and Jasper went along because they had been complaining that they never got to have any 'quality time' together as brothers anymore. So when it got really late, Carlisle and us went out to look for them, and found Edward tied up. Then we heard you scream, so us three came over here to help you, although you were doing pretty well by yourself. Right now, they're definitely thinking about how lucky they were with our punishments - well, Jasper is, Emmett is definitely not jumping with joy over Rose's punishment. But what they don't know is that we found Edward and that Carlisle untied him."

"And they also don't know just how mad Edward is. Jasper just _thinks_ he has a general idea," said Carlisle while climbing through the open window. "Edward said to meet him at the traffic square in about 30 minutes, there's going to be some sort of a show put on by our very own Emmett Cullen and Jasper Hale."

Now, the really strange thing about Forks is that although it has a traffic square, it's really a circle. The circle is in the middle of little shops and businesses, and is generally considered the heart of Forks. They held citywide dances there, and made important announcements there too. But today, our wonderful city of Forks was going to get a _very_ special show.

We just sat around for about 5 minutes before Rose blurted out, "I'm sorry Bella."

"Sorry? For what?" Alice, Esme, and Carlisle were quiet, watching us.

"For being so mean to you all this time."

"Actually, I was okay with it."

"Really? Why?"

"Because nobody's really ever hated me. It was kind of nice. Lauren was the first to not like me, but she just sits and glares at me. You fought against having me around. You'd walk out of a room when I entered, and did a number of other things. Back in Phoenix, nobody liked me, and nobody disliked me, I was just a part of the scenery to everyone outside my family."

"Wait, so you like me because I hated you?"

"Yup!"

Everything was silent for a second, with everyone just looking at me, before they all burst out laughing, me shaking because I was still in Esme's lap and she was laughing so hard.

"Edward was right, you definitely are weird," Rose said.

"Thank you."

"Thank you?"

"Yeah, you see, there is an age old saying that has been passed down my family for generations: 'Weird is good, strange is bad, and odd is when you don't know which to call someone. Weird is the same as different, which is the same as unique, so weird is good. And if you are weird – be proud of it!' " More laughter followed my speaking.

"Come on Bella, let's go see what Edward made Emmett and Jasper do," said Rose picking me up off of Esme's lap and slinging me onto her back. I squeezed my eyes shut.

"Open your eyes, I don't run as fast as Edward," said Rose. I hesitantly did.

"Wow, I never realized just how beautiful the forest could be while traveling at the speed of light." I just got more laughs.

Too soon, I jumped off of Rose's back because we were at the traffic 'square'. There was a crowd gathering, so no one saw us run out us the forest, me still soaking wet in my pajamas.

In the middle of the crowd were two pink, frilly, puffy blobs. Those blobs were none other than Emmett and Jasper in tutus. There was no noise in the traffic square. Everyone just stared. I giggled. One giggle was all it took, and the whole crowd burst out laughing at Emmett and Jasper. They were taking turns glaring at Edward and I. But they wouldn't do anything because they knew they were going to get lectures from Mommy and Daddy, apart from the punishments already given by their wives.

Edward jogged over to us, but tore into a _human_ sprint when he saw how wet I was, wrapping me up in his arms, cradling me like you would a baby.

"What happened sweetie? Why were you crying," he crooned softly into my ear.

"Big mean men wet me," I said gesturing to the pink blobs.

"And how did the big mean men wet you," he asked, in a soft baby voice.

"They threw ice cubes and really, really, really cold water at me," I said with a sniffle, blinking back tears. "I'm wet and I'm cold, and they ruined my bed too."

"Shh… It's okay, the big mean men are going to pay for what they did to you, and we'll buy you a new bed."

"Okay, but the bed has to be the same size to fit in my room."

"Anything for you love," he whispered, well, for a human anyways. "Now, to cheer you up."

He put me down and calmly walked back to where Emmett and Jasper were, and stood between them.

"Now, to the great people of Forks, I give you the amazing Fergalicious stylings of Emmett Cullen and Jasper Hale!" And with that note, Fergalicious by Fergie started playing. Emmett started to dance forgetting that people were watching him and that he was in a tutu. He got really into it, then he pulled Jasper to him and started to dance with him. The scary thing was, Emmett was really good. The crowd was speechless until the song finished, then it erupted into laughter. Emmett finally seemed to remember where he was and ran off the stage, Jasper chased after him, both of them being followed by the laughter of the crowd.

When we finally got back to the house, Alice took me to her room so I could change, and Edward disappeared into his room for a while then he went off to the school. When he came back I asked him why he went there, but he refused to say anything about it, so I gave up, he took me home, where there was already a new mattress, don't ask me, because I sure don't know, but was too tired to care, and I fell sleep to the humming my lullaby.

The next morning when Edward drove me to school I saw HUGE posters of Jasper and Emmett in all of yesterday's glory over the ENTIRE school.

"So that's where you went last night." Edward just smiled at me. He had only left me to go home once since he had tacked up the posters since Charlie wasn't coming back from fishing with Billy until tomorrow night.

The day passed by and soon I was closing my locker, and waking with Edward on our way to lunch. As we approached the cafeteria, we heard music and people singing. Edward looked confused, but I quickly recognized the voices. My family was in town.

EPOV

As I escorted Bella to the cafeteria, I heard music and several voices singing. I refused to listen to the thoughts coming from there, and instead concentrated on my Bella. Her face was one of shocked but happy recognition. As she noticed me watching, she blushed deeply.

"Umm… Edward?"

"Yes love?"

"Can I go to the bathroom?"

"Why couldn't you?"

"Because you're kind of holding me quite tightly." I looked down and saw that what she said was true, so I released her with an apology. I watched her leave down the hall, and when she turned a corner, I entered the cafeteria.

_**IMPOSSIBLE**_. There was Bella, but she didn't smell like Bella, that was sure. My Bella's scent was similar to a wild flower, and while this girl was still considerably flowery, her scent was more tamed than my Bella's – more like a daisy or a lily. There were also two males there, looking to be as closely related as my Bella and this other girl. All three were related, I was sure of it, the two males possibly even twins.

I walked to my family and sat at our table, shaking my head, answering their non-spoken questions. That girl was _not_ my Bella, I was sure of it.

BPOV

As soon as I turned the corner and knew Edward could not see me anymore, and would therefore go into the cafeteria, I sprinted to my locker. I always kept a change of clothes in my locker for times like this one. I grabbed one of my favorite Hot Topic outfits – a Tripp Dark Street Black Grommet Capri with a Tripp Black And White Pinstripe Corset – from inside. I ran to the bathroom to change. Undoubtedly, my twin sister and our twin cousins would want me to sing with them, reuniting the Swans once more.

AN: Request songs! I need songs for them to sing. Links to pics of clothes are on profile. Also, which do you like most: Becca, Bekka, or Beka.


	2. Hell Yeah!

1425 words.

Songs: Halifax – Under Fire and Halifax – Our Revolution

**Chapter 2: Hell Yeah!**

BPOV 

And now for the rest of me. I gently let my hair down from the ponytail keeping it out of my face, bending over and shaking it out. Now - the face. Black liquid eyeliner, mascara, black eye shadow, and bright red lipstick. Perfect. And now, throw on some black Vans, and I'm good to go. I calmly walked out the bathroom, and to the cafeteria. As I approached, I recognized the song they were singing.

Call me a doctor of defense

Maybe I'm a fix (Baby I'm a mess)

A diagnosis you'll forget

Call me baby call me crazy, yeah yeah yeah

Take these pills everyday to kill your apathy for living

Yeah for living, yeah yeah

(This is) This is the sound of your body under fire

(These are) These are my eyes finding you in the dark

We are the voices of an underground choir

Save your breath you won't be heard

I found the villain in your bed

A blanket full of lust (a pillow you can trust)

So is this what you call love?

Call me crazy, listen baby, yeah yeah yeah

Stop sniffing all your cocaine

I'll be your drug for the pain

For all the pain, yeah yeah

(This is) This is the sound of your body under fire

(These are) These are my eyes finding you in the dark

We are the voices of an underground choir

Save your breath you won't be heard

I blow open the doors with a wave of my hand and let them bang against the walls so every one turned to look at me. Gasps were heard, the loudest by far coming from the Cullen table. I ignored them all and sang the next part of the song:

And when you're falling for the stories I said and believe them

Nothing but the truth we wrote on the ceiling

I strode over to my family, taking my place, as we continued to sing.

Break out all your bullets it won't be enough for

Stopping all your jail mates from turning into

People on the sun reaching for a loaded gun for you

They will scream your name before I do

(This is) This is the sound of your body under fire

(These are) These are my eyes finding you in the dark

We are the voices of an underground choir

We are the voices of an underground choir

We are the voices of an underground choir

(This is) This is the sound of your body under fire

(These are) These are my eyes finding you in the dark

We are the voices of an underground choir

(This is) This is the sound of your body under fire

(These are) These are my eyes finding you in the dark

We are the voices of an underground choir

Save your breath you won't be heard

When we finished drawing out the last note, the cafeteria was quiet for a moment, then it erupted into a raucous roar of cheers, whistles, and applause, everyone standing up, giving us a standing ovation. Everyone that is, but the Cullens – they were still in shock.

"ENCORE! ENCORE! ENCORE!"

"Awwwww… That's not fair, how are we supposed to say no to that," I yelled before bursting out into another song.

We are famous faces

We are legends of the underground

The west coast is dying, but we're still getting down

Hollywood's got stilettos

Walking egos in skirts

Setting sunset on fire

We only do this cause it hurts

So sit back, waste your life away

Well I want to hear you say...

Hell yeah

Get up, get up, get up, do you believe in

Hollywood restart our revolution

Hell yeah

Get up, get up, get up, and sing it

If rock n' roll is dead, the dead will come undone

They say I kiss to kill

I just do it for fun

The stage girls shake to make my heart come undone

Glamour girls and whiskey

And Snow White's already kissed me

The sirens sound, the boys are out, take over this city

So get up, dance the night away

Well I want to hear you say...

Hell yeah

Get up, get up, get up, do you believe in

Hollywood restart our revolution

Hell yeah

Get up, get up, get up, and sing it

If rock n' roll is dead, the dead will come undone

Hell yeah

Get up, get up, get up, do you believe in

Hell yeah

Get up, get up, get up, get up

Hell yeah

Get up, get up, get up, do you believe in

Hollywood restart our revolution

Hell yeah

Get up, get up, get up, and sing it

If rock n' roll is dead, the dead will come undone

We walked out of the cafeteria, chased by applause, cheers, and whistles. Out into the rain, we sat down 'criss cross applesauce' in the middle of the field, waiting for the Cullens. After a few seconds, we could see them coming towards us.

"Would you like to sit down," I offered, gesturing the grass in front of us. Edward, Jasper, and Emmett sat down, and Alice and Rose settled themselves into their husbands' laps. When all of them were seated, they turned to me.

"So… I'm guessing all of you would like me to explain, huh?" Five nods. "Well, this is my real family. My sister Becca, and our cousins, Jason and Jacob – but not Jacob as in Jacob Black, this is Jacob Swan. Becca's real name is Rebecca, and she likes to be called that just as much as I like being called Isabella. Because of our family and our past, we come with many strings attached."

I had been talking to the ground between us, but now I looked up and meet Edward's eyes.

"Edward, I do love you, but I just can't do this. No matter how much I want to be with you I can't."

"Why not?"

"There are many, many reasons."

"What are they," he asked sadly.

"Well, I can give you five: Jake, Samm, Alex, Adam, and Scot – my five kids."

If he could be crying I knew he would be. The one thing he couldn't give me I already had – and they weren't his.

"Whose their father?"

"I don't know."

"How can you not know?"

I looked him in the eye and said, "Because I was raped."

Shock covered every one of their faces. If it weren't so serious, I probably would have laughed.

"Did you have quintuplets," burst out Alice.

"No – look, can we not talk about this."

"Okay, new subject – how come all of you are all Gothic like?"

I laughed looking down; I could hardly recognize my own outfit.

"Oh, these are just some of our stage clothes, we dress somewhat normally the rest of the time."

"Thank god!" Jasper was soon holding a very limp Alice, who had pretended to faint.

"Anyways, I want you – all of you to be a part of the kids' lives, they need a bit more of fun in their lives," addressing them as a whole.

"Really, you mean it?!"

"Yup, Rose, I really do mean it."

"YAY!" Alice and Rosalie started jumping around in circles, chanting "We're gonna be aunts!" over and over and over again.

"Go ahead," I said to my family, who was getting quite impatient.

"_Finally_, do you realize how long that took."

"No, but I'm betting 10 dollars to Becca and Jason each that you timed it."

"Deal."

"Deal."

"26 minutes, 58 seconds."

I didn't say anything, just stretched out my hands towards the losers, who grumblingly put 10 bucks into my hand.

"So… As long as we're out here, let's not waste a perfectly good battlefield now that the rain is letting up," said Becca. In fact, the rain was letting up, so Jason, Jacob and I readily agreed.

"Nope, sorry," said Emmett.

"What, afraid of losing," taunted Becca.

"No, I just wouldn't want to squish you."

"If I were you, I'd be a lot more worried about my own safety."

"And why is that?"

"Because our regular battles are females vs. males, and there is no way males will ever beat us, 'cuz we're just so much damn better that you are."

"It wouldn't be fair. You see, they are more of us than of you."

"That won't be an issue."

"And why not?"

"Because we're not human either," I said, breaking up their little rendezvous.


	3. Perfect

185 words.

Chapter 3: Perfect 

"WHAT!" It seems that Edward finally snapped out of it.

"Did you really think I could look this good after having five kids if I was a human," I teasingly asked, raising a brow.

The field was filled with laughter; Jason's and Emmett's the loudest.

"So what really are you Bella," asked Alice.

"Well, to really understand you'd have to know the whole story, and we really don't have time for that right now. So… how 'bout we come pick you all up, at say around 8, so that Charlise and Esme can come too?"

"Sounds great." It's official; Alice is now the Cullen spokesperson.

"And there's the bell." Not even two seconds passed after I finished speaking before the bell rang.

Just as the watch on my wrist turned to 8:00 p.m., I knocked on the Cullen's door and stepped back. Alice opened the door and bounded out, shortly follow by Jasper, Emmett, Rosalie, Esme, Charlise, and Edward.

"I told them they would have to come outside, but they don't know why just yet."

"Perfect," I replied, smiling – evilly.


End file.
